This post is another blast from the past! While I’m still the default parent (a term I heard a while back and find totally fitting), things aren’t as dire as they once were. I do still use some of the strategies I outline in this post when I notice lopsidedness sneaking back in. Just yesterday, my daughter was super excited about the lunch place we were going to and said, “Thank you sososososososo much, Mommy!” I told her to thank Daddy because he’s awesome and made the decision. As with most things in parenting and partnership, the work doesn’t ever fully end — it just changes.
Hey! My kid likes me best. Isn’t that awesome?
Wait. A. Second.
This is actually not all awesome.
If you’re the one your kid likes best, I’m sure you get what I’m saying. If you don’t feel me yet, check out this scenario:
It’s nearing bedtime and you’ve spent the day doing all kinds of parenting tasks: preparing and serving meals, brushing teeth, putting on and taking off shoes, providing potty assistance, playing cars, playing superheroes, playing more cars and more superheroes, and so on. You are tired. You say, “Daddy needs to help you get into your pajamas now.” This is met with a flood of tears and screams of “You do it! I want Mommy to do it!!”
Ugh.
Not only is it exhausting, it’s also heartbreaking.
Is there a way to guide children toward being kinder to the parent who is not the “preferred” one? How can we do it without making it into an awkward situation every time?
Continue reading “Help! My Kid Likes Me Best!”