Self-Compassion Archives - Embracing Kindness

The Unease of Starting Something New

As I try to begin a career in freelance educational content production and editing in earnest, I find that I’m faced with the unease of starting something new. I need to market myself and my skills, which generally leaves me feeling overwhelmed and sick to my stomach.

I know that I am a capable and competent writer and that I have expertise in some areas (namely social and emotional learning). This isn’t enough to get a career off the ground, however. I need to have connections. And to make connections I need to network… and sell myself.

UGH networking and selling myself. Both of those things make me extra super uncomfortable!

So my question as I got started was: How on earth do I sell myself as a writer, copy editor, and curriculum developer?

The answer didn’t excite me.

Lots of sites said I should start working on my social media strategy. I’ve been a casual social media user since the days of MySpace, but have mostly kept to personal updates on Facebook intended for my close friends and family. I’ve dabbled in Instagram and Twitter, but haven’t really found footing there yet. LinkedIn has always been a bit of a mystery to me, honestly! I have posted a couple things there but I have no idea what I’m doing.

Which leads me to this:

I have no idea what I’m doing with my “social media strategy” in general.

I’ve never had a social media strategy — and venturing out on this with no experience scares me. I can feel my anxiety start to creep in.

It makes me want to not even start.

Here are the questions that swirl around in my head, especially when I think about making short-form videos like Instagram Reels:

What could I possibly say that anyone would care about?

How can I ever come up with enough content related to the subjects I write about on my blog?

Will all of this effort actually help me?

How do I ensure the privacy and safety of my family?

Do I even want videos of myself out there for all to see?

I don’t know the answers to any of these questions. But I do know that if I don’t try it, I’ll never know.

So, I’ve decided to just start, and to make the fumbles and failures along the way a part of my exploration on my blog. This will be an exercise in self-compassion for sure! It will likely be a long and bumpy road, and I need to be kind to myself.

Maybe my social media strategy will fizzle and I’ll never get it truly off the ground. On the other hand, maybe it’ll be something I find enjoyable and that others eventually connect with.

I’m going to hope for the best on this one, but if the worst happens (what’s the worst that could happen?!) I’ll be okay, too.

I saw this tweet the day after I wrote this post and it made me laugh out loud. 😀

Here’s what I’ve done so far:

Made a content calendar (that I’m already behind on! Haha)

Listed blog ideas

Listed reel ideas

Started a few blog drafts (including this one)

Listing things and making plans always makes me feel better when I don’t want to start something.

What do you do when you’re afraid to start something new?

I’d love for you to share in the comments!

When Reality Doesn’t Meet Expectations

I’ve always been the kind of person whose motto is “expect the worst, but hope for the best.” I know, that’s totally not positive and seems counter to the general vibe of this blog.

But that’s me, in reality.

I really try to avoid getting my hopes up, because I would rather be joyful at an unexpectedly good outcome than bummed at an unexpectedly bad one. I believe this is what we call “self-preservation.” Here’s why:

Continue reading “When Reality Doesn’t Meet Expectations”

How I’m Reforming My Play-Hating Ways

I love interacting with my son.

I love talking to him—he’s so funny and creative, conversations are usually pretty interesting.

I love reading to him—he is a very enthusiastic book lover, and that gives me an insane amount of joy.

I love snuggling with him—we snuggle every morning, and it always starts the day off right.

I love watching him draw—he has this crazy innate talent (and love for it) that I can only assume was a recessive gene from his grandmothers, because neither Josh nor I have much in the way of artistic ability!

Z drawing a train — The kid loves to draw!

Continue reading “How I’m Reforming My Play-Hating Ways”

7 (Cheap) Ways to Stay Sane During Unemployment

“What are we going to do today, Catherine?”

“Same thing we do every day, Catherine. Try to take over the workforce.”

I like to be busy, and I hate monotony. When I got laid off in December, it was easy to stay busy because Christmas and Z’s birthday were just around the corner—so many little projects and tasks awaited me, I was actually kind of glad for the forced “time off.”

As the craziness of December becomes a distant memory, I find myself with fewer and fewer things to occupy my time. And, worse, I have no idea when I’ll earn a stable paycheck again, so spending money makes me feel sick to my stomach. I can’t just go out and spend the day in San Francisco, browse at the outlets, get a hobby (most of which are actually more expensive than you’d think), or whatever else I might do with my free time.

So what do I do? How do I keep myself from falling into a Netflix black hole?
Continue reading “7 (Cheap) Ways to Stay Sane During Unemployment”

Opening Up About Anxiety

Ever since I was in fifth grade, I’ve suffered from moderate anxiety and depression. (Interestingly, the National Institute of Mental Health notes that the average age at which people begin to suffer from anxiety is eleven years old.) In my case, the depression usually follows an episode of high anxiety.

In this post, I’m going to delve into my own struggles and explain why I (and others) think it’s worthwhile to talk about them. I’ve noticed that there’s been a movement lately to get people talking about mental illnesses, to bring individual experiences out into the light in an effort to remove the stigma. I think that sharing our internal struggles with others is a kindness to ourselves, but is also a kindness to those who may feel alone.

Continue reading “Opening Up About Anxiety”

How I Picked Myself Up After Job Loss (And Whether It Lasted)

We’ve all experienced setbacks. This is just a fact of life. It doesn’t matter how smoothly things appear to be going—something, at some point, will trip us up. How do we dust ourselves off when this happens? And, once we do, how easy is it to stay standing?

My exploration of self-kindness today is through the lens of my (not-so-recent-anymore) layoff. I had found my dream job for a really wonderful organization with a mission that I truly believed in. I was writing language arts curriculum with a social-emotional focus, and I was just beginning to feel like I was becoming competent.

Then the whole thing began to fall apart. The organization was financially unstable and they did a few rounds of layoffs. I was part of the second round. Continue reading “How I Picked Myself Up After Job Loss (And Whether It Lasted)”